Tuesday, December 06, 2011


Im still here, still breathing. Just a very busy bee.
Ill write more when I've got a spare moment.
If I don't say before...

Merry Christmas!



Saturday, November 05, 2011


November, November the 5th of November..

What a week! It's safe to say that I have seen some brilliant theatre. Two third year shows and one second year. One in particular was called 'Fasymetric Theory' written by Kat Evans, it was sensational. The best show that has ever been on the St Mary's stage. The writing was so beautiful and it was clear the director had brought out the genius of the writing. It was the world premiere at St Mary's and I know it will go far. I brought the script and will go back to it many times in the future. Our only hope now is if we can pull a show as half as good as that off next year we will be laughing.

Lots of deadlines, lines, essays ahhh. Why can't I go back to rainy days and duvet days full of crappy films and chocolate and sleep.

Had some brilliant classes this week also. Ian Redford (you may not him from Corrie) taught us for the second time yesterday even though he did repeat some of the exercises it was still a good workshop and it reunited us to intentions/objectives and actioning which for me is at the heart of all acting. Additionally he reunited me, with a play I have been trying to find for years! I saw it a few years ago at the National and it has stuck in my mind. A play by Dennis Kelly called 'DNA' but it has now been renamed which explains my trouble with finding it. It's a play about 'the enclosed world of adolescent cruelty' and it's were I first saw Ruby Bentall who was an unstoppable chatterbox and has recently been Minnie in Lark Rise To Candleford.

Now I better go and get some work done before work. (Also went to Zumba on Monday my first time...loved it! Im shaking the pounds off hopefully :))


Monday, October 31, 2011


Happy Halloween everyone :)
Just thought I'd say I'm still here, still breathing just been very busy despite just having my reading week. Nice to spend some time with Mum and Dad. Volunteered at Ham House in the week face painting and doing ghost stories for kiddies, was fun and a beautiful house. Found out I'm allergic to face paint yippee! Off to a zumba class in a few hours quite excited as have wanted to go to one for ages, I think a little exercise will calm me down. Lots of rehearsals, and work to do really looking forward to the weekend as it means I will have got through the week. Seeing three shows this week, 'An Evening of Grand-Guignol' which is one of the third year company productions and 'Fasymmetric Theory' which was written by a third year and again another company production. Have to see them as it will be us next year! Then on Friday before I come home seeing 'A-Political Caberet' which is devised by our fellow 2nd year Applied Theatre pathway and it's free and always fun and inspiring. Went to see the new film 'Anonymous' with Mum and Dad on Saturday, Dad fell asleep, but Mum and I really enjoyed it. It really was fantastic and helps me greatly with my 'Early Modern Drama' module hmmm I wonder if Shakespeare wrote the plays or not?

Monday, October 10, 2011


Haven't really felt like writing on here recently. To be honest haven't really felt like posting on twitter or facebook. I sort of took a step back and thought what am I actually writing? The things people put up like 'omg I had such a bad day I just don't wanna talk about it' which of course draws in thousands of replies like 'whats wrong', 'private message me' etc. To me what is the point. Everything people write is to be read and theres times when I think I just don't want to know! But then that's what these sites are all about documenting every moment, every feeling every opinion. I feel its creating very selfish egotistic people who crave for attention and replies. So I just took some time out and I feel from now on I will think before I post.

Ive been working really hard at uni, I hope it all pays off, sometimes I feel those around me don't work as hard, don't even do the work given but fly through ticking all the boxes and getting a decent grade. I however have whats called a conscience and work continuously to hand in on time, never ever to be late and work to the best to create the best response. There's a saying 'work hard but play harder' I think I defiantly need to balance out my time because I'm beginning to over work and become exhausted.

Am missing my brother and sister alot I hope they are happy and healthy and are finding themselves. University is a secure environment but lets you experiment with life and experience it to its full. (Also learning to cook, clean and washup for those few who don't know!) I hope they both use it too its full as we are already in year two and will be graduating before we pause to blink.

Doing some work this morning before packing my life up into a suitcase (mainly books) and training it back up to uni to then return again on Friday. I don't mind because I get to see my Mummy and Daddy :) but sometimes I wish I could not have anywhere to be, no deadlines and no work. However I don't think I would function as a person. So there we are a post about me, to be read by others what a selfish person I am.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Moving In-

Moved in for good late last night, just me and one housemate were here and my two other flatmates moved in properly today. It's so exciting! We've had lots of visitors and uni was absolutely buzzing with people I was very sad not to be a fresher anymore. I got completely lost in the library and am totally puzzled with all the new lecture times and places but just going to enjoy freshers this week. Went to visit my friend who's a fresher in his halls, I remember how nerve raking it was last year to make friends, he's feeling the same. Was gonna go out tonight but decided to wait till tomorrow as the uni events are better from then onwards. Our living room has had a makeover and now looks cosy and girly, and we went on our first house food shop and the car was full! It's strange because all my other friends from home who are now also in 2nd year have already experienced cooking for themselves etc but here at St Mary's we didn't have cookers and had food included for the first year, which sounds amazing but it really wasn't, so we are so happy to be able to eat what we want when we want. I was quite proud of my healthy shop to get on my diet lots of fruit and things I can eat with slimming world diet (plus a couple of chocolate bars and wine as I'm only human) so excited for the weeks ahead! Toodles x


Went up to Twickenham for a week with George to spend some time together before I start uni again and his work gets buzier for the christmas period. We couldn't afford a holiday together this year so decided to go to my house as I'd been paying for it and not spent anytime there. We brought enough food so we didnt have to leave the house as the weather wasn't great but we managed to go to a few places. Popped up to Twickenham shops and pub etc, went into Kingston to do some shopping and cinema. We wanted to go to London zoo but the weather was awful so as we didnt want to waste a day so we still went into London for the day to a musem at Picadilly called 'Ripley's Believe it or Not' which was filled from top to bottom by authentic, original and unbelievable exhibits ranging from worlds tallest man, a four metre long model of tower bridge made out of matchsticks, even a mirror maze, it was a good day out for any age. Then we had a look at the m & m world that I'd heard about in Leister Square which was a huge shop full of m & m merchandise, very strange I think it's big in America. Went into Richmond another day and walked along the river its so unbelievably beautiful, we had a nice cold drink in the sunshine before having some dinner in Nandos. Had a lovely week and really gonna miss him even though I still come home weekends. We have been together four years now and havent yet spent that much time together but we didnt argue once! He even agreed to help make some cupcakes (he unadmittedly enjoyed it) pictures of week below :)

Friday, September 02, 2011


I can't believe it's September already, its scary before we know it we will be 2012 the year we thought would never come. The year London holds the Olympics, will It be a success? I wonder..
Went to meet my Aunt in London on Tuesday with my sister, we managed to catch a glimpse of my cousins beautiful triplets who live near by just before heading to the theatre for a matinee. We went to see 'The Mouse Trap' which is west ends longest running play, it was very good and worth seeing. By the interval we had guessed who the murderer was it was very satisfying guessing right but at the end we were asked not to tell anyone and to keep the secret of who 'done it' alive. I've been working lots over the last few days before I go off to university on Sunday. I'm off to spend a week up in my house before I start lectures with my boyfriend to get settled and sort out all the broken or unsafe things and visit the zoo and places like that. I'm looking forward to it as I haven't spent much time up there despite paying rent every month. Then the following week it will be freshers week, how fast has that year gone! Wow.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Fairy Cakes

Weekend in Suffolk, these are the results from cooking with Mum this afternoon,            
 one word...YUM.

Theatre in the Forest- Twelfth Night

Witnessed another year of midsummer madness at Theatre in the Forest. It was 'Twelfth Night' this year which by far is my favourite Shakespeare play. I have seen it performed a few times even by the Royal Shakespeare Company themselves but still Red Rose Chain manage to make it their own and make the Shakespeare so understandable. I have always liked Shakespeare but on those long boring in English lessons back in school you can't help but slowly drift off out of pure dullness. It's the way it's taught I think, and for some reason children have a negative attitude towards it when it so beautifully poetic and I'm positive if they witnessed one of these plays their attitudes would change. However in the case of 'Twelfth Night' having studied it for a level and even used some of the monologues for audition pieces it has become a favourite. I feel the story is very capturing with the love triangle and poor old Malvolio and his yellow stockings. The issues are timeless and you could probably capture something much like it in an episode of East Enders. This will be the forth year running we've been. Starting with 'Romeo and Juliet', followed by 'The Winters Tale and last year 'A Midsummer Nights Dream' which have all been unique and fantastic, they have infact been running for twelve years, last nights being the 'Twelfth Night' and I wish we had found out about them sooner but hopefully they will redo some of the previous ones. They always incorporate their own little songs and the acting is always outstanding. I admire them so much and hopefully one day I will share even a quarter of their talent.  Hopefully Mum and I can go again next year and drag some innocent soles with us to be converted into Shakespeare lovers.
Only two weeks till year two of uni starts wooppeee :)

Find out more about Red Rose Chain

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder

Finally finished reading Gaarder's best seller 'Sophie's World'. I've read alot of his other books like 'Through a Glass Darkly' or 'The Orange Girl' and have been totally gripped from the start because I find his books so beautifully magical. 'Sophie's World' was different I've had it on my shelf for years but never brought myself to read it until now when I had to read it for a module for university. I can honestly say I wasn't gripped from the beginning but I had more of a drive to continue because I had to read it. For me it took a good third of the book to get into it. The book can be defined as a history of philosophy and in a way it is a text book as it explains the history spanning over 2000 years with each chapter a different philosopher/theory.

I think I was negative towards it at first because I couldn't see why philosophy had anything to do with expression/theatre however I was wrong. Gaarder manages to take the history and put it into words that can be understood I wish every English/math/subject text book had a guidebook like this to accompany it. A story is woven in within the history and there's a point when you question the book because it tips the story upside now and you have to question which story is the reality. 'Sophies's World' is a book within a book, although you become engrossed in the story you are always conscious that it is a book and you are being taught something. Sophie is the primary narrator but two thirds of the way through things are then told from Hilde's view and then eventually Albert Knag Hilde's Father.

 When reading books for uni I find myself naturally scanning for anything that explains or intertwines with drama/theatre. Towards the end when he talks about Freud it at first caught my eye because I have done alot about him in psychology but he talks about the 'artist' alot. His 'psycoanalysis had a more direct influence on art' pg 366. This was the time when art was more about revealing the unconscious in their work. How art should come from the unconscious. 'The artist should thus derive the freest possible inspiration from his dream images and strive toward a 'super realism', in which the boundaries between dream and reality were dissolved. For an artist too it can be necessary to break the censorship of the conscious and let words and images have free play.' pg 366. This is so key for acting. Acting, devising, writing, performing everything about it sparks from creativity from having 'free play'. In class we have to be so creative and come up with story's from nothing. We have to improvise and uncover our unconscious all the time in order to reach the emotions and memories we desire. For me this summed up creativity very well. About dreams it says ' It is ourselves that our dreams are about. We are the directors, we set up the scenario and play all the roles. A person who says he doesn't understand his own art doesn't understand himself very well.' pg 367 Finding inspiration is hard. We can't remember things and then suddenly remember from our unconscious and then into consciousness taking a while to find it. Then our mind seems to light up and we can find the ideas words and images we need which is called inspiration.

I know I am talking alot about the Freud chapter but it is all so relevant to my course and at the same time I feel I am uncovering things about myself. He talks about the ideas being 'latent' in your consciousness and when you let go they flow out. He talks about the importance for an artist not to let reason control an unconscious expression which is what I tend to do which blocks my thoughts. So because I think about things and control things too much I therefore stop myself from free play and uncovering the conscious. I sometimes feel my dreams are the only place my mind has free range the one place were I can't control my thoughts. It's important to let go. In class we have done exercises like writing non stop for five minutes, writing the first thing you think and not thinking about it just writing. Freud calls in automatic writing. It was amazing but stories/ideas come out when you free yourself from your conscious.

 In other chapter he talks about the French existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre. He believed that 'Existance thakes priority over essence' pg 379. Meaning man must create himself his own nature because it is not predetermined. 'We are like actors dragged  onto the stage without having learned our lines, with no script and no prompter to whisper stage directions to us. We must decide for ourselves how to live.' pg 379. This chapter is very interesting and I think among all the other philosphical theories I understand/believe this one the most. We are free individuals therefore we make the choices in our lives. This freedom gives us the change to be something and to live truley. It goes on about how we create the meaning in our own lives. How our own lives influence what we percieve and what is of interest to us. Up till now I have been a strong believer of fate....so I'm sure one day I will crackle the debate between the two. Then the chapter links in with the theatre. Existentialism had a great inflence on drama. You could call Sameul Beckett an existential playwright or in known terms the theatrical style 'absurdism' know as the theatre of the absurd. Last semester I did a whole module on work from the theatre of the absurd. Oh well never to late to learn I feel I keep tying up loose ends about other things I've learnt once I've learnt more about them from other books or workshops or films etc.

Anyway the theatre of the absurd was a contrast to realistic theatre. The aim of it was to show the lack of meaning in life in order to get the audience to disagree. So basically by showing the absurd in everyday life the spectators are forced to seek a truer essential life. Believe me some of the plays I've read in this genre are so unbelievably shocking I can now understand how they worked. Other playwrights are Sarah Kane, Edward Bond and Joe Orton and the context surrounding them is even more interesting but I won't go into that. Overall 'Sophie's World' was not only a good novel but an eye opener and a teacher. Definatley would recommend.

Gaarder, J. (1995). Sophie's Word. Britain: Phoenix
Want to buy it?

Monday, August 15, 2011


Really tired today didn't sleep a wink last night. I have officially lost 7 pounds wipppeee so now I plan to TRY to lose another seven I know I can do it now I do have bad days but I also have good days and I understand it more now so we shall see. Went up to good old Twickenham for the day today, apparently Brad Pitt was enjoying it there too. Did some more measurements for windows etc and moved lots of unwanted bits of wood and things that were lying around the house into a cupboard because our landlord clearly isn't going to move them. Walked into town got some lunch saw my friend for a bit and trained it back. Went to my cousin's 18th Saturday with George and my family was nice to see everyone. Then on Sunday was taken for a nandos and went to see Rise of the Planet of the Apes which I had my worries about but was actually a brilliant film I would recommend it. It's got me wanting to watch the original Planet of the Apes. Back to work tomorrow fingers crossed they can keep me on for Saturdays. Looking forward to the weekend already and bedtime of course :).

Friday, August 12, 2011

10 things about STRAWBERRIES

1. Strawberries are a member of the rose family.

2. Strawberries are the only fruit with seeds on the outside.

3. 150 grams of fresh strawberries remove negative emotions.

4. In Belgium there's a museum entirely dedicated to strawberries

5. 200 seeds in every strawberry.
6. I love strawberries.
7. Strawberries can help whiten your teeth.
8. Eight strawberries have more vitamin C than an orange.
9. Strawberries can also be white or yellow and some can even taste like pineapples
10. The Latin name for strawberries is  Fragaria Ananassa.


Seem to have alot of birthdays this month. Celebrated my boyfriends last weekend have my cousins this weekend and about five or six friends over the month. Can't believe were the time goes it seems like May was only yesterday and ill be back at uni in under a month. Extremely excited to see every one and live with three lovely ladies in our humble abode in Twickenham. I want to work really hard this year because 2nd and 3rd year really counts, I did quite well in my first year but I could afford to make mistakes I can't anymore. Working tomorrow then off for a bbq at my cousins house hoping it's nice weather. Still reading Sophie's world finding it hard to get through it but here's another quote to leave you.....

.....wisest is she who knows she does not know....

Wednesday, August 10, 2011


Read over 40 plays over the last few months, trying to read as many well known plays as possible so that if they come up in lectures or in auditions I have a rough idea of the playwright and play. It's getting hard to separate all the stories in my head some playwrights works are so similar so I've decided to break away from plays at the moment and start reading some of the set texts for September and believe me there are piles. Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder is a set text for a module called 'Creative Thinking' I already had this book on my shelf as I think I remember trying to read it a few years ago but not managing it due to it being extremely hard to get through. So here's attempt 2 and I'll leave you with the first quote of the first page to get your head round.

'He who cannot draw on three thousand years is living from hand to mouth'

LDN Riots

It's what every body's talking about it seems and why shouldn't we be? Only it seems all the phone hacking scandal has been brushed under the carpet which needs to be uncovered. I've honestly been so surprised over the behaviour of people I've been to gobsmacked to write anything. All the thousands of status updates and tweets and I just haven't been able to bring myself to write my own opinion. I can't seem to form one. Everyone is blaming someone else whether it be a different race, colour, religion, age, or educated person. All are involved so I don't see why people are becoming extremely violent and racist forming ridiculous opinions about students or those that live in flats, are people really that easy to label? Just when I really thought London was becoming something, I really felt like it had something to show off, now I reckon the Olympic tickets are just as worthless as all the empty burnt down shops across the country. I've been mesmerized by the news and have been watching it for hours everyday our society was living in fear of terrorists now we are living in fear of our neighbours of ordinary people we walk past in the street. What does that say about the society we live in? What does it mean to be proud to be British I don't think there is such thing anymore. I used to say I would never leave London never immigrate because I felt to grounded to were I was born and raised but right now I feel like moving to the other side of the earth and never coming back I don't feel safe anymore.

Thursday, August 04, 2011


Sunshine,smiles,compliments,kisses,family,friends,boyfriend,achievement,chinese,hollyoaks,chick flicks, payday,pink,bbc dramas,shopping,bedtime,cold side of the pillow, duvet days, pick en mix, cinema, theatre, reading, acting, dancing, singing, giving work in, good results, new clothes, christmas, holidays, sparkle, make-up, new pyjamas, fresh bed sheets, freshly cut grass, cosmopolitan, cocktails, red sparkly shoes, tan, chocolate, meals out, cuddles, day offs, good days, lay ins, feeling good, snow days, birthdays, clean hair, the people that make me smile, baby's, rainbows, frankie and benny's breakfast, nandos, twickenham, home, beach, london,travelling, new experiences, creativity, learning, good food, the feeling after exercise, butterfly's, domino's, life going your way, music, sunset, cooking, baths, you time, festivals, primark, anything strawberry, facebook, diary's, phone conversations with my family when I'm away, sense of purpose, rewards, quotes, ikea, being healthy, memories, photographs, laughter, loosing weight, happy thoughts, stress free, catching up with people, sunbathing, being treated how you would want to be treated, when my brothers happy, tidy room, organising, colouring, filo fax, clothes, perfume, moisturising, pretty anythings, cupcakes, bags, nail varnish, university, getting a job, making good impressions, when I find myself praying, weddings, beautiful places, good health of those around me,jude law, gerald butler, good books that leave a mark, plays, musicals, blood brothers, going for walks and not sure where you end up, lazy days, hearts, being loved for being me, those who care, those who listen, shoulders that let you cry, when new doors open, disneyland, surprises, crunchies, giving, good news, love, loving, cranberry juice, rainless days, bargains, presents, christmas dinner, angels, nature, getting stuck in, getting out what you put in, opportunities, friendly people, friendly customers, george, piglet, cosiness, days out, smooth legs, monopoly, tiffany,being given flowers, performing, sleeping, cherry blossoms, jelly bellys, roses chocolate, pink tinsel, valentines day,snowfalkes, desserts, america, post it notes, fred and ginger, judy garland, wizard of oz, billy elliot, andrew lloyd webber, sound of music......